If this is Me Time, I suck.

OK, here's the scenario. Steph worked a night shift tonight. Which left me alone with the monkeys after 3 or so in the afternoon. Hmm. I began to have fantasies. Wonderful fantasies. Fantasies Steph aptly described as "Me Time." I thought we'd wear the boys out with a swim at the Y, they'd go to be early and I'd go nuts. Watch something Steph couldn't stand on TV. Oooh. Maybe some of my Mad About You DVDs. Or I could work on some captions for my scrapbook. Or watch some of the Golden Globes. The possiblities were endless. Well, I'll cut to the chase. This photo was taken just moments ago. At 11:15 p.m. Here's how we got to this point:

We began the day at a Toys R Us liquidation sale were we found the Toby Duplo of Chas' dreams. Sadly, the Percy of Eddie's dreams was already sold. So we decided to get him one elsewhere. (We were giving them things because we woke them from a dead sleep last night to go into the Toys R Us sale only to discover the store was closed. This caused, let us say, great consternation in the boys and we resolved to make it up to them.) No luck at the Target in Federal Way. But we would press on. Lunch, then a swim at the Y and bye bye Mama. The boys and I drove to pick up Auntie Cathy, then to Tukwila. The boys fell asleep. So much for my no -nap plan. But I got the Percy and they awoke when we got home, so I still had some hope.

It was raining, so when we got in the house, Eddie ran and grabbed a tissue and lovingly wiped his Percy Duplo box dry. Then, for the next 15 1/2 hours, I was held captive in the playroom and forced to "play" with the new toys. That may be a slight exaggeration, but only slight.

I convinced them to break for mac and cheese. While I was getting it ready, Chas pulled down a box of corn flakes and poured them all over the floor. Are you getting the picture of my evening?

As I cleaned this up, they ate some mac and cheese, grapes and pushed around some green beans. Then I was forced back to the playroom. Soon, Eddie jumps up and runs out claiming to need a napkin. Having lost my will to live about 15 minutes earlier, I'm not thinking about why. Then I hear a horrible thud followed by a blood-curdling scream. I force my way past Chas, who thinks I should still be in the playroom, and find Eddie with very tiny bits of blood coming out of both nostrils. He has fallen face first on the floor. He cries, I soothe and kiss various injured body parts better. He tells me he's going to throw up. As he gets better, he tells me he needs to get a napkin for the chocolate milk. Oh yeah, the napkin. So I ask him where the spill is. Yup, it's in the playroom, right near the edge of the playmat. It's a whole cup. It's disgusting under the playmat. Must get at that this weekend.

OK, the evening progresses and soon I convince them to take their meds, brush their teeth, etc. We read some stories and... Chas demands chocolate milk. I tell him no, he cries, eventually settles down. This will be a piece of cake I think. Ha. They both insist on clutching their new Duplo trains, which keep them just amused enough to avoid sleep. Eventually, I take them away, which is OK with Eddie, but upsets Chas to no end. I rock them. I sit with them at their bedside. I hold their hands. I think I'll break away for a few seconds by telling them I need to use the bathroom. Chas wants to watch. When I say I don't need to go after all, he begins to cry that he wants to see Mommy pee. After 2 hours of this, I give up and come in here to send a photo request that I should have sent Friday. And to eat dinner: Diet Coke and potato chips.

The boys, of course, followed me in about 20 seconds later. And Chas demanded chocolate milk. I am so over Me Time. It's really not that much fun.