Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Now I know how they felt when The Beatles broke up.

Greg Wiggle is retiring due to some crazy-ass illness. I watched his farewell video, including the handing over of the yellow "skivvy" to the new guy, Sam Moran, and found myself inexplicably verklempt. Ironically, The Wiggles are Eddie and Chas' big enterainers, not mine. And yet I suspect they may not even notice that the lead freakin' singer has been replaced. But, but, it's like if the Beatles replaced Paul McCartney with Dave Clark or if Van Halen replaced David Lee Roth with Sammy Hagar. Wait, scratch that last one.

Still, it's the end of an era. I interviewed Greg Wiggle over the phone earlier this year. And now, to quote a Wiggles song, Whoop-De-Doo.

When first heard the news, I thought, 'Surely he's just stopping the live tours but he'll do the TV show." Then I realized he was hanging up his yellow skivvy altogether.

I feel so abandoned -- but it's not all about me and my feelings, is it Greg? No, it's you and your stupid illness. Why did you have to have those hernia surgeries that may have triggered this? Are you really so selfish?

OK, look, how about you just take a break for a few months -- I'm sure you'll feel better and maybe you can just cut down on some of the touring. Get one of the other Wiggles to take the wheel of the Big Red Car. Please?

Oh, God. I can't believe this is happening. I am inexplicably bereft -- hopeless and living as if in a fog rolling in off of Wiggle Bay. Everything seems so dark, like Caveland.

OK, this is it. He's really gone. I don't like it, but it's reality. I can't control Greg or his blood flow to his extremities. Nor can I control my curiousity about how this blood flow impacts him in other performance areas, if you get my drift. Life will go on, different than before, but still worthwhile.

Whew, that's a relief. I'm through with the 5 stages of grief over the loss of our Wiggles lead singer -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance -- and I can go on with life.

Godspeed, Greg Wiggle Page. At least you didn't leave to try to become a rock star like Joe's brother Steve Burns. Or get stabbed to death by a stingray. I'm grateful for that.

2 comments:

BetterLater said...

I, too, feel your pain. I never actually spoke to Greg or any Wiggle, though I did brush up near Anthony at one of the shows. I remember thinking, "Wow, they're really bold to go in the crowd." Then thinking, "Sheesh, it's not like a knee-high riot can be THAT bad." THEN realizing that my two tots can kick my ass in a heartbeat.

We'll miss you, Greg Wiggle, but the yellow shirt will dance on!

BetterLater said...

I know he says it was orthostatic blah blah that's keeping him from the group. I read too many tabloids 'cause I find myself really hoping that it is that and not some kind of rehab or other unpleasantness.