We brought home our two tiny bundles of boy. I remember being a nervous wreck on the drive home because I had them in the back seat and they just seemed so precarious, so fragile and so my responsibility. We'd roomed in with them at the hospital the night before, a situation that resulted in zero sleep. Then Steph had to go to work and I waited at the hospital with them all day -- taking a break for my own medical appointment -- until she could come help me make the big move.
We got them home, took them out of the car seats and put them on our bed. Then we stood back and looked at them and each other and felt completely and totally overwhelmed. I called my sister and told her to come help. She did. And stayed for the next week, taking the night shift so that two new, overwhelmed and nervous mothers --including one with postpartum depression -- could at least get some sleep. Looking back, I can think of so many things I would have done differently. But I also know that I'm not the same person I was then and the person I was couldn't possibly have had the presence of mind to do anything differently. So I'll give myself a break. And just be so glad that five years later, they're bigger, sleep longer and I'm no longer petrified just to drive with them in the car.
What a difference five years make!
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