Tell me if you've seen this one before...

So I feel a bit like I'm living a particularly bad episode of "The Brady Bunch" or maybe "Facts of Life." You know the one: Protagonists briefly take posession of someone else's beloved pet. Beloved pet dies. Protagonists desperately search for identical replacement to keep the death a secret. Protagonists overlook something stupid like gender and get found out.

Here's the scoop. The boys both got beloved -- and I mean BELOVED -- stuffed Koalas when we went to San Diego. Getting the first one, in fact, was quite an ordeal because Eddie saw it, loved it, had heart broken by it when what seemed like the only gift shop that stocked it closed before he could make his purchase. (But that's another episode in which I think we somehow leave Dad's important architectural drawings or some secret voodoo thing or something on a roller coaster. I may be mixing these up.)

Anyway, they sleep with these Koalas (both of which are named Flyer for reasons that escape me) and often drag them into our bed (aka "The Big Bed") when they join us at 0-dark-30 in the morning. (Begin to see the foreshadowing here...) I changed the sheets last week and noticed absolutely nothing. But I had a meeting that night and didn't get them moved to the dryer. I asked Steph to do it in my absence. She noticed a Flyer (Chas') in with the wet but clean sheets. Assuming there had been some urine incident, she tossed him in the dryer.

He emerged a bit worse for wear. Actually, everything was OK but his tufts of long black ear hair. They were matted and slightly melted. This displeased Chas greatly.

Thinking myself smart, I sneaked in and ordered a replacement FROM THE SAN DIEGO ZOO. I paid for shipping. It would be worth it, I figured. Meanwhile, we told the boys that sometimes a stuffed koala can regrow its ear hair. OK, admittedly this is where the story gets a little weird, but stay with me.

Today, the package arrived. By golly, it was the same koala! I was a genius! I hid Old Burnt Ears. I even cut a small notch in the tag of the new Flyer to replcate the marking we had given the old one to ensure that they could tell them apart. Then I put New Flyer in bed where Old Burnt Ears had been. Sure enough, when Chas found him, he was thrilled to see the ear hair had regrown! But. Wait. His face. His face is lighter. I didn't notice it until Chas said something, but sure enough, the face is a tad lighter. The whole fur of the thing is a sort of mottled gray so I didn't notice, but he did. He carefully examined the body and noticed a couple of other spots that were every so slightly different.

Then he said something that made my blood run cold. "It's like someone took a new Flyer and cut his tag to look like my Flyer." We did some fast talking and managed to convince him that when miracles like stuffed animals regrowing hair occur, well, there are bound to be side effects.

And I'm much more careful now to check what is in the sheets when I wash them.