As of now (well, yesterday actually) it has been five years since I left my home in the morning and trudged off to work. Five years ago the sainted Dr. Dashow put me on bedrest for the duration of my pregnancy and I never went back.
Do I miss "working outside the home?" Not really. I thought I would and, truth be told, once in a while I get nostalgic for the newsroom atmosphere. Outside of home, that's probably the environment I'm most comfortable in. I do still get to stretch my writing muscles with freelance work. And, honestly, one of my favorite things about working in a newsroom (aside from the bad jokes and worse wardrobes of almost everyone in the room) was always reading the wires. Imagine, just sitting at your desk and being able to click and read hundreds and hundreds of AP news stories at will! Why, it's almost like having an internet connection! Since that little thrill is now available at home, why leave?
Ahhh. Friends and colleagues. Yes, I miss seeing some of them more regularly. But many of them have moved on -- waaaay on -- and I wouldn't see them anyway. The ones I really care about, I'm still in touch with -- albeit irratically. And now that the boys are in preschool, I have a whole new set of friends who are mostly younger than I am but still in the same "stage" of life as me. They aren't newsies -- most don't even follow the news. But, I like them and we have a lot of fun on our "girls night out."
I hear people say that being a stay at home parent is the hardest job in the world. I disagree. Parenting the most important job in the world, but it's not harder just because you stay home to do it. It's easier -- at least for me. I can't imagine the chaos of trying to get boys, Steph and me out the door on time every morning. Heck, they're late for preschool more than half the time, an it doesn't start until after noon. Speaking of which ....)
So, I'm happy staying home. I think it makes me a better mother. I don't think it makes anyone else a better or worse mother to make a different choice or even the same one. I'm not a martyr for doing it. (Good God when I hear mothers talking about how much they are sacrificing on the altar of their children by staying home, I want to scream: "GET A JOB!" Because I think if you are unhappy, unfulfilled and full of resentment, you probably aren't doing your kids any favors.) To the contrary, I do it because it's much, much easier for me. I know I am going to pay for it in things like career growth, future savings etc. (Note to some "feminist" scholars who like to opine about women fooling themselves into thinking they can take time off from the workforce without paying a price: "Stay-at-Home" is not a synonym for "brain dead.") But it's a trade-off I'm happy to make.
In other words, even after the boys are in kindergarten next year (gasp, sob) don't be expecting to see my resume popping up in your inbox...
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3 comments:
Very nice essay, Cheryl.
I think prob. the best thing i did for jennifer was to actually have a job. otherwise, she probably be in therapy by now (you're much more laid back than I am).
I do miss the newsroom as well, having been out of it for 18 months, but you're right, the people you care about, you keep in touch with, and those that you don't, well , you don't.
I am glad I didn't go back to grad school, as I had first planned, when Jennifer was in middle-school however. This isn't a time to check out of her life (as you can read on my blog).
So what is the 2,000 word story you're working on (I just turned one into the Puget Sound Biz Journal on the mortgage mess. My head is about ready to explode.)
BC
Yes, the so-called "Mommy Wars" between the SAHMs And the WMs really get on my nerves. Isn't the ability to make your own choice the whole point of the feminist movement? If one size fits all doesn't work for sweaters, what makes anyone think it should work for something like mothering?
Anyway, the story is actually done -- just having flashbacks at this point ;-). It's for a marketing magazine -- via the dreaded Tiger Oak -- about the sale of a building in Canada that actually is far from nondescript but still not worth 2,000 words. I mean, it's a cool building and all but 2,000 words?
I'd say the name, but what with me saying the story's not worth it, I don't want some fool googling it and sending them this post....
Understood.
BC
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